Gee whillikers, I've been forced offline for most of this past year. I've been able to hop online under adverse conditions just enough to sorta kinda pretend I was still around. But now I'm really around! Now you won't be able to get rid of me. Now I'll sit on your couch all night telling stories with no end while you keep looking at your watch and clearing your throat and interrupting with things like "well, it's getting late, I've got to go to work tomorrow morning." But that will just remind me of another story, so you're just stuck.

The best you can hope for is that I fall asleep on your couch and that my snoring doesn't scare the cat. But don't worry, I'll fix you breakfast in the morning! There'll be pancakes and bacon and I'll do your eggs over easy, just the way you like them.